Head to Head: The Decisive Conclusion of the Battle of Pineapple on Pizza

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Ruby Yang

The arguments over pineapple on pizza are that of a verbal war that reached its climax.

Pineapple is a key ingredient for pizza, and any opposition comes from experience with a bad chef, not the topping

Pineapple, through its angelic, sweet, juicy charm, has, without a doubt, earned a spot as a key topping on pizza. 

The point of pizza is to combine different flavors onto dough and tomato sauce to create an explosion of different toppings. There’s absolutely nothing better than a little bit of tasteful and healthy fruit in a sea of grease, oil, and salt. The mix of salt and sweet goes perfectly well together. 

The hatred for pineapple on pizza is rooted in malice for the fruit itself, rather than a merit-based scorn for the combination of pineapple on pizza.  Additionally, the numbers don’t lie. In an article by TIME Magazine, a survey showed that 66.65% of people enjoyed pineapple on their pizza! If you’re part of that 33.35 percent of those who dislike it, and if you’re willing to, please dig down deep, stay with your thoughts for a little, and think about it in the context of your entire life. This may be a serious issue from a past negative experience with pineapple, and closure with such problems may enlighten the right answer for this debate.

I often hear negative experiences coming from those who complain that the pineapple is too “acidic” or may “weigh down the pizza.” Just like everything in life, pineapple in pizza has to be done correctly, and when it is done correctly, it pays off. Of course dumping a bunch of canned pineapple chunks won’t taste good. 

Just like any pizza topping, it must be mastered in order for the pizza to taste good. Finding a juicy, crispy pineapple and combining that with the wonders that already come with pizza’s basic toppings, you create a tag team that offers one of the best culinary experiences possible.

Even professional chefs believe that this topping deserves a spot on the doughy miracle that is pizza. 

Chef Giuseppe Fanelli, a winner of the cooking TV show “Chopped” and a renowned chef in New York gave his opinion on this momentous question.

“I’m a very technical chef, meaning if you’re going to apply an ingredient, it has to fit and be an accompaniment. So if you’re using pineapple, it should be pre-cooked the same day if you’re cutting it in large cubes, or it should be thinly sliced,” Fanelli said. 

You can not enjoy pineapple on pizza, but to say that it doesn’t belong might be a sign that some serious reflection on one’s life choices need to be done.

It’s okay, I understand that change can be hard, and so is admitting your wrongdoings, but pineapple works perfectly on pizza. Case closed.

 

In an era of increasing polarization and isolation, it is easy to see the flaws in distasteful pineapple on pizza

As we grow up, there are some issues that we have a responsibility to develop a well formed opinion on. We also need to figure out how our moral compasses work so that we can live a life of meaning and purpose. To do this, there are some important questions to ponder. What needs to happen for me to get involved? Do the ends ever justify the means? Is there always a right answer? Is pineapple on pizza acceptable?

Pineapple on pizza continues to conuse. With entire industries dedicated to texture and companies fighting to make your fries crispier, your apples crunchier and your cakes fluffier, why do people continually settle for – even enjoy – the structural mess that is a Hawaiian pizza? 

With pizza, it’s generally pretty easy to reach an acceptable equilibrium. If you have a thicker crust, lean into the savory pie aspect. With a thinner crust, make a flatbread. The only thing that you can do to mess up this balance is add sweet, sickly syrupy pineapples. Not only do they weigh down the entire slice, pineapples also completely overpower the flavor of the sauces, cheese, and other toppings. Pineapple is just an awkward topping. 

Indeed, its origins reflect this fact. According to most people (and the Washington Post and Wall Street Journal in explorations of pineapple on pizza), Greek Immigrant Sam Panopolous invented Hawaiian pizza in 1962 when he dumped the pineapple that he kept on hand for his restaurant’s Chinese dishes onto a few of his pies. 

While I admire his creativity, this seems like a rather artless attempt at syncretism. Italians famously do not often put pineapples on their pizzas and Hawaiians seem to want nothing to do with the ‘Hawaiian’ pizza. 

For example, in a Wall Street Journal article, the writer was quick to note that Hawaiians, when choosing among sweet tropical fruits, preferred mangos over pineapples on pizza. Furthermore, pineapple is also not traditional to Chinese dishes. So while this is a good attempt at fusion, much more needs to be done to the humble pie before it can gain my respect. There needs to be a balance. 

In theory, I have nothing against pineapple on pizza, just like how I do not have anything against tomatoes on pizza. But tomatoes and pineapples are both acidic and tomato sauce and pineapple juice can sometimes have a similar flavor profile and without a careful balance, the pie begins to taste both sour and saccharine. This could be remedied with a little bit of art though. 

Pineapple pizza should be left to the experimenters, the people who care enough to make mistakes and to try everything out. Maybe that means thinly slicing the pineapple, roasting it and grilling it before tenderly laying it across the pie. Maybe it means getting rid of some of the tomato sauce. Maybe it won’t work at all. We’ll have to see. 

In an ideal world, though, pineapple might eventually provide that balance between the savory, salty, and sweet. Alas, one can dream.