You can tell a lot about a person based on their favorite candy. For example, objectively if you like Reese’s you’re a strong, independent and mature person. If you like tootsie rolls you share none of the aforementioned qualities and if you like smarties—tell me you have brain damage without telling me you have brain damage.
Unlike communism, not all candies are equal and discrimination against them is encouraged in order to purify the candy economy. Some candies are gifts from god while others are inedible and their inception should fall under crimes against humanity. The Golden Arrow recently put out a public poll on what Woodbridge High’s favorite and least favorite Halloween candies are. On behalf of the Golden Arrow we are very disappointed in how basic these NPC responses are. Seriously, Woodbridge High chose the most corporate and generic candies that exist, with M&M’s, Reece’s, Twix and Skittles all making the top five.
Credit where credit is due, it is very admirable of Woodbridge to place Sour Patch Kids at number one. It is humanity’s single greatest achievement, with nuclear fusion and the Apollo 11 Moon Landing coming in at a close second. When discussing Woodbridge’s favorite candy, Prajan Santhosh is a reflection of this common consensus.
“I know Sour Patch Kids are really popular, and I also really like it because it’s sweet, and it tastes really good,” Santhosh said.
With regards to Woodbridge’s least favorite candy, it is to no surprise that Twizzlers are the worst of the worst. With an astonishing 16% of disgusting candy nominations in the survey, it is safe to say that even though giving toothbrushes to kids on Halloween is a literal war crime, it would still be preferable over twizzlers. Haran Gunabal has volatile emotions toward twizzlers.
“I forgot about Twizzlers! Yeah, Twizzlers are also pretty bad. They have this plasticky taste,” Gunabal said.
Indeed if your candy has the consistency of rubber then the FDA should probably examine if it’s truly edible. The only reason the twizzlers company is still in business is because of those Spanish teachers who buy them in bulk and reward—or better yet, punish their students with them after speaking the most basic of phrases such as, “Mi perro ayuda mi tarea.”
The argument for Twizzlers and licorice against their justified hatred is that the taste and consistency is very nostalgic. While nostalgia can be a powerful emotion, it must be considered that if you have to be nostalgic of the Great Depression in order to enjoy a specific candy, then chances are that candy isn’t very good.
This strange holiday where children typically dress up in silly costumes knocking on doors demanding candy, hoping that their god-given kit-kat hasn’t been poisoned or their Twix bars laced with narcotics, has been in recent decline. The point is, Halloween spirit every year since Covid-19 feels ever more lackluster and degrading than the last. It may be a virtue of maturity or nostalgia, however it is evident that Halloween has never lived up to the success of its brother holidays such as Christmas or Thanksgiving.
“It feels like fewer people are going out trick-or-treating, which is sad, because these are the years where I don’t go trick-or-treating myself. I hand out candy now and yet fewer people are going each year,” Gunabal said.
For others, Halloween post Covid-19 has felt odd for vastly different reasons.
“Back then, Ring cameras weren’t as popular. I feel like they started getting more common during the pandemic. So now everyone has Ring cameras, and when there’s those ‘one bucket’ houses, you can’t take the whole thing anymore,” freshman Kameron Vo said.
Children and teen’s insatiable, indomitable and audacious greed is part of the problem. Matter of fact, this behavior should be condemned to the highest possible extent.
This trend has made Halloween feel less interactive and more transactional, especially visible in those “please take one” buckets, where the label is more of a suggestion. Which ruins the joy of Halloween for many kids less fortunate.
In order to properly combat this issue and reinvigorate passion for the holiday, the day following Halloween should be a day off. Now before you start sending death threats to the Golden Arrow, it should be acknowledged that many children are up late on Halloween. For these kids, going to school the next day feels unfair as they aren’t prepared for the day ahead.
“People are usually trick-or-treating late at night, so when they get home, it’s probably midnight. Then they have to wake up early the next morning with little to no sleep,” Vo said. “To perform at their best, I think students should get the next day off so they can sleep in.”
Having a day off for Halloween would increase productivity in students without punishing them for exercising this nighttime tradition.
Regardless of your personal Halloween opinions, there is simply too much of an emphasis placed on candy. Similarly to Christmas, Halloween is so much more than just the exchange of candy or gifts. It is about spending crucial time with friends and family, adorning decorations, carving pumpkins, creating creative costumes and the experience of trick-or-treating. Candy represents only the tip of the iceberg for this holiday and is deservingly the most boring aspect about Halloween.
